Make Peace With Food – Intuitive Eating Principle 3

Make Peace With Food

When you hear the phrase, make peace with food, you probably have 1 of 4 reactions.

Whether you are terrified of making peace with food, you have no idea what that means or why you should do that, you are actively pursuing peace, or you feel you already have peace with food, everybody can learn something from this principle.

In this article, my goal is to offer a straightforward overview of this concept. By the end, I hope you will gain an understanding of Intuitive Eating Principle 3 – Make Peace With Food. To begin, let’s explore the impacts of food deprivation.

If you haven’t already, check out my articles about the two previous principles: Intuitive Eating Principle 1 – Reject the Diet Mentality & Intuitive Eating Principle 2 – Honor Your Hunger.

Food Deprivation

When we deprive ourselves of something, it actually increases the desire for that thing. This applies to more than just food. For example, when we intentionally limit our online shopping habits, what happens? We naturally think about and crave that activity, most likely even more than before. Food has this same power over us but in a much more intense fashion.

The more we deprive ourselves of a certain food, the more we think about it, and the more we want it. This is important to address when on the path to make peace with food.

Rebound Eating

Rebound eating is the backlash, or consequence, of food deprivation. According to Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Anti-Diet Approach, 4th Edition, there are several types of rebound eating.

• Food competition: This occurs when food is being shared with more than one person, especially when those people eat at different speeds. This can cause you to eat faster than normal because you are scared you won’t get your portion.
• Returning home syndrome: This often happens when someone is returning home after spending a period of time away. Examples include kids coming home from summer camp or students coming home from college. This can cause overeating of favorite meals that were missed or just food in general if food was scarcely provided while away.
• The empty cupboard: This occurs when access to food is limited or restricted. Examples would include food insecure individuals or children of parents who aren’t home often. When food is limited, this causes individuals to eat an abundance of food when it’s provided.
• Once in a lifetime: This occurs on special occasions. For example, you are eating a meal on the coast of Hawaii and you are savoring every bite. You might overeat because you know you won’t be getting this meal again anytime soon, or maybe even ever.
• Anticipation of food restriction: This occurs when you anticipate food being limited in the near future due to the start of a diet or something similar. This is also called last supper mentality.

Last Supper Mentality

The overall concept of the last supper mentality is hurry and eat it while you still can.

The simple idea that food could potentially be prohibited may induce excessive eating. Merely contemplating the prospect of starting a diet can evoke a feeling of panic, leading to a binge-eating spree on foods you believe may be restricted.

This is most commonly seen in chronic dieters. Right before starting their next diet, they tend to participate in the last supper mentality. Chronic dieters eat everything they can before they are no longer allowed to.

Restrained Eating

According to Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Anti-Diet Approach, 4th Edition, restrained eaters are “chronic dieters who are preoccupied with dieting and weight control. To stay in control with their food, restrained eaters set up rules that dictate how they should eat, rather than listening to their bodies.”

Restrained eaters completely dismiss Intuitive Eating Principle 2 – Honor Your Hunger. Rather than instinctively responding to their body’s cues, they analyze their food choices, selecting items with a mental filter and questioning their body’s actual needs.

What the Hell Effect

When restrained eaters break a rule they created, their restraint is also broken. When the restraint is gone, overeating follows. This has been called the What the Hell Effect.

The simple act of perceiving a violation of a food rule or consuming a forbidden food can initiate overeating. When a calorie threshold is surpassed, overeating occurs. When a restricted or forbidden food is consumed, overeating occurs.

Seesaw Syndrome

In dieting, the sensations of deprivation and guilt function in opposite manners, kind of like the idea of a seesaw. The more you experience deprivation through dieting, the stronger the backlash of deprivation becomes. This puts deprivation at the top of the seesaw, waiting to come crashing down (Figure 1).

The more food is prohibited over an extended period, the more alluring it becomes. Once you can no longer fight the feelings of deprivation, you give into your forbidden foods. The feeling of guilt then starts to arise. This leads to the What the Hell Effect and ensues more guilt. Now the seesaw is even (Figure 2).

As time goes by, the feeling of guilt continues to increase while deprivation decreases (Figure 3). This occurs until the guilt becomes too much to bare and you end up back to the opposite side of the spectrum, with deprivation at its highest (Figure 1).

Unconditional Permission to Eat

In order to break the pattern of restrained eating followed by rebound overeating is to give yourself unconditional permission to eat. This is a big step in your journey to make peace with food.

Allowing yourself unconditional permission to eat means:

• Eating without mandatory atonement
• Disregarding the preconceived idea that specific foods are deemed good or bad.
• Consuming the food you really desire. Yes, you read that right.
• Forgetting the idea that one food can have the power over your health.

Making Peace

When you genuinely liberate your food choices, devoid of any concealed intentions to impose future restrictions, you diminish the inclination to overeat. Truly allowing yourself the permission to eat whatever you want, relinquishing the control food has over you.

The best way to experience this is to allow yourself to eat your forbidden foods.

Hindrances

Even if you are ready to give up dieting, the thought of allowing forbidden foods can feel terrifying. When it comes to making peace with food and allowing unconditional permission to eat, there are several common hindrances individuals experience.

• Will I stop eating?: Initially, you might experience an overwhelming anxiety that you won’t be able to stop consuming the foods you have deemed off-limits. If this happens, remember when you allow a forbidden food, the urgency to eat that foods will slowly decrease. Studies show that individuals grow bored of consuming the same food. This is called habituation.
• Pseudo-permission: Pseudo-permission occurs when someone thinks they have allowed unconditional permission to eat but they actually haven’t. You may be going through the act of eating your forbidden foods, but your mind is still in diet mode.
• Willing I eat healthfully?: According to Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Anti-Diet Approach, 4th Edition, once you truly allow yourself unconditional permission to eat and make peace with food, intake of “play foods” and more nutritious foods naturally balances out. However, at this stage of Intuitive Eating, it is important to focus on the current principles (1, 2, & 3). The nutrition side will come later. Focusing on nutrition too soon could derail the current process.
• Self-distrust: If the phrase “you can’t be trusted around food” resonates with you, an obstacle you may have to overcome is self-distrust. This thought might be instilled in you by your parents, siblings, a doctor, friends, or society in general. However, the process of allowing yourself unconditional permission to eat is the building block to restoring your trust with food and yourself.

Habitual Response

I want to emphasize that the goal of allowing unrestricted eating is not to create dullness or burnout with a specific food. It is, in part, to experience habituation, where the power of a particular food, such as a forbidden food, diminishes overtime.

Taking Steps Toward Peace

Make Peace with Food in 5 Steps

1. Take note of the foods that attract you and compile a list of them.
2. Mark the foods you actually eat with a check and circle the ones you impose restrictions on.
3. Grant yourself the freedom to eat a prohibited item from your list then either purchase it at the store or order it from a restaurant.
4. Assess whether the taste of the food matches your imagination. If you enjoy it, continue granting yourself permission to purchase or order it.
5. Ensure that you have an ample supply of the food in your kitchen so that you can be certain it will be available whenever you desire it. Or allow yourself to go to a restaurant and order it whenever you want.

After you make peace with one forbidden food, continue this process with additional foods from your list. Keep following this approach until you are absolutely certain that you have the freedom to eat whatever you wish.

Move at Your Pace

It’s possible these 5 steps will be overwhelming. Be sure to work at your own pace! If making peace with food is entirely overwhelming, that’s totally okay. Keep trying. You can always continue on to the next Intuitive Eating principle and revisit this one.

Don’t Fall Into This Trap

In the words of Tribole and Resch, “Beware the ‘I can eat whatever I want, as much as I want, whenever I feel like it’ trap.”

This trap warps the essence of Intuitive Eating. While it encourages embracing food and enjoying what delights your taste buds, unrestricted eating without considering hunger or fullness may not lead to a fulfilling experience. It could result in physical discomfort. Being familiar with your body’s satiety signals is a crucial aspect of your Intuitive Eating journey.

Quick Summary – Make Peace with Food

No matter what your relationship with food looks like, everyone can benefit from learning how to make peace with food. For some of us this process will be easy, for others it will be hard. And that’s okay!

When we restrict ourselves from a particular food, our thoughts about it increase, amplifying our cravings and desire for it. If we learn to leave this food deprivation and restrained eating in the past, we can avoid rebound eating, the What the Hell Effect, the last supper mentality, and seesaw syndrome.

After we tackle food deprivation, its time to work on unconditional permission to eat. This requires defeating common hindrances such as self-distrust and pseudo-permission. While allowing ourselves unconditional permission to eat, we hope to form a habitual response to foods. This helps take away the power and control of certain foods.

The final step is making a list of forbidden foods then confronting each one by one, while being mindful of the body’s satiety cues. Be sure to make peace with food at your own pace.

Take your time and keep at it. Eventually, you’ll get the hang of following Intuitive Eating Principle #3 – Make Peace with Food.

Dig Deeper

To further explore the principles of Intuitive Eating, I suggest buying a copy of Intuitive Eating – A Revolutionary Anti-Diet Approach, 4th Edition by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch, which is available at various retailers, including Amazon. The official Intuitive Eating Website is also a valuable source of information.

For additional reading, visit the Intuitive Eating section on my website. Whether you’re new to Intuitive Eating or experienced in the practice, browse through my store, which features products in line with the anti-diet principles of Intuitive Eating.

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Thanks for reading!

Rachel Beiler, MHS, RD, LDN

References

Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Anti-Diet Approach, 4th Edition by Evelyn Tribole & Elyse Resch